1-2 Weeks

I’m glad Natalie was born during the fall season, but her birth has made planning for the holidays a bit of a challenge. I love to craft and bake around Christmas time, but I’ve really had to limit my projects this year. Plus, I’ve been feeling pretty “blue”- I’m crying all the time! On Monday I cried over the fact that we’ve yet to take Natalie’s ink prints of her feet and hands for her baby book! I wanted to get them done right away.

So on Tuesday, Eric took us to the craft store to buy some baby-safe ink for the prints. While we were there, I found some cute wallet-size frames to buy for Christmas presents. We plan to take Natalie’s newborn portraits within the next few weeks and will be handing out copies to everyone. Later that night, we attempted to take Natalie’s prints- her feet were easy enough to ink and press into her baby book, but her hands were another story! She constantly has them clenched in fists which made it really difficult. The prints of her hands turned out kind of smudged and blurry, which brought on another round of tears. And the ink stained her tiny hands, which made me feel terrible. But I’m glad we did get them done, even if they didn’t turn out perfect.

It’s been nice to have Eric home for now- he plans to be off from work for about two weeks. He’s been helping calm Natalie when she cries for no apparent reason, which I really appreciate. Plus, she’s been up crying nearly every hour at night, which has been the case nearly every night this week. So we’ve been doing a lot of “skin-on-skin” time late in the evenings when she’s upset. We did this in the hospital and I think she finds a lot of comfort in being so close to us. It really must be confusing to be a baby!


On Friday, I had another difficult day. I wasn’t expecting to feel so “off” after she was born- I really just don’t feel like myself at all. My emotions are all over the place- one minute I’m happy as can be, the next, I’m inconsolable. I really am happy that Natalie’s here and that she’s healthy, but at the same time, I’m just so overwhelmed and anxious. And then came the infamous spray poop- Natalie managed to literally spray all over me and the couch during one of her diaper changes. That brought on another crying fit. Luckily Eric rushed over to us to help clean us up. And he brought me some pretty pink roses later to cheer me up while he was out running a few errands (yet another thing I’ve been crying over- no one brought me flowers when we were in the hospital... of all times in a girl’s life, birthing a child should be most deserving of a nice bouquet)!


Despite my up and down moods and “baby blues”, there have been countless times that I’ve looked down at our beautiful baby in complete awe. She is so lovely. It really is amazing that she's here- living, breathing, perfect! I just can't wrap my mind around it completely, and I honestly don't think it's possible. Creation really does testify.

Baby's 1st Thanksgiving

To celebrate Thanksgiving this year, my amazing sister decided to come over and prepare dinner for us, which was so nice! I was feeling okay, but still just a week or so post-partum, both Eric and I were really tired. The last thing we were prepared to do was pack up the baby and try to go to our families' houses, as we typically do. Plus, it worked out so that Eric actually had the day off- since his two weeks off after her birth extended through the holiday.

Elaine brought over a tiny turkey and roasted it in our oven while she prepared the rest of the fixings- stuffing, mashed potatoes, gravy, salad, and cranberry sauce. While we waited for the bird, we had fun playing with Natalie and dressing her in her cute little Thanksgiving bib and a headband to match. Once dinner was ready, I set the table and we tried to place Natalie in her swing right beside us while we ate, but it didn't last long! I ended up feeding her on my boppy pillow over dinner. At least she was happy and quiet, giving me a chance to eat! Dinner was delicious- Elaine is a fabulous cook!




Elaine also brought individual slices of pie for dessert- pumpkin for me and pecan for her. Since Andrew and Eric aren't terribly fond of pie, she brought them their own pints of Ben & Jerry's instead. After a long day, Natalie and I both turned in a little early for bed after our company left (and even washed and dried all the dishes for us)! My sister is so great. I don't know what I'd do without her! It was so nice to celebrate the holiday quietly while in the comfort of our own home. We decided that I'll return the favor to Elaine come April, when she'll have a newborn of her own and I'll be cooking Easter dinner for her!

1st Week at Home

We brought baby Natalie home on Thursday the 18th. After a short carride home, we brought her into the house and the cats were immediately interested in what we had brought home. I was really nervous about how they'd react- but after a few sniffs around the carseat, they seemed rather uninterested. After making something to eat and settling in a little, we got ready for bed. I dressed Natalie in her duckie sleeper, which she was drowning in! She's so tiny that nothing seems to fit her! Then I placed Natalie in her cosleeper right next to my side of the bed. But she immediately rolled her head and looked over at me, as if to say, "Why am I sleeping over here all by myself?" I then broke down in tears, scooped her up into my arms and decided she'd sleep right next to me, just like she did in the hospital. I didn't get much sleep at all, but baby was happy and that's all that mattered. In what broken sleep I did get that night, I had a frightening dream about a man knocking down our door and then pulling a gun on Eric! It scared me awake and I looked down at Natalie peacefully sleeping with me.

On Friday, we had an appointment in the newborn/breastfeeding clinic. The nunrse observed me breastfeeding her and informed me that I was doing well, despite being incredibly sore. Then she examined Natalie and mentioned her concern over her yellow coloring. So she ordered us down to the lab to run another round of blood work to check her jaundice levels, which wasn't fun. One of the phlebotemists pierced her little heel in order to get the sample and she screamed out in pain. It was so hard to hear! On our way home, Eric stopped by Target to buy a space heater for our room (it's been so cold lately!) and some "Soothies" (cold gel pads for breastfeeding mothers). We waited in the car while I directed Eric through the baby section at Target over the phone. Then my dad and Sally came by to visit that evening. My dad took this awesome picture of us that I just love.


On Saturday, Eric made me breakfast in bed, which was so nice. I had another weird dream that night about someone breaking into our condo and ransacking the place! I don’t know why I’ve been having such strange dreams lately. Must be the hormones. In-between hourly feedings around the clock, I managed to test out my new breast pump today and we gave Natalie her first bath in the evening. Of course she screamed through the whole thing :(


On Sunday, Eric’s mom and Patrick came by in the evening with Baja Fresh for us, which we really appreciated! They each held the baby and we ate dinner while I nursed Natalie. Over dinner, she made quite a few loud farts, which was so funny! Such a tiny little thing can be so loud!


Speaking of nursing, it’s still really painful to nurse, but I’ve started to soak through my clothes, especially at night! We had to make a little trip to the maternity store downtown to pick up a few nursing bras and other supplies. I guess it’s safe to say that my milk has come in! And thank goodness for my boppy pillow! Whoever invented the thing must be a billionaire. It’s constantly in place around my waist since baby Natalie is busy establishing my supply.



When there was a Sharks game on earlier this week, Eric had fun dressing up Natalie in her first Sharks outfit, even though it was way too big on her. He’s such a proud Daddy! I can tell already that she melts his heart :)

Birth Story

Recalling the whole birthing experience feels like a blur already- it couldn't have come soon enough, but once the moment arrived, it came and went so quickly! In the early morning on the 16th- eleven days past my due date- I woke from sleeping at about 1am to find that my water had broke. Just to be sure that was indeed what I was experiencing, I got up and walked around a little bit. It didn't take long to convince myself, so I woke Eric at that point and decided to call labor and delivery. They told me to come right in, but since I wasn't feeling any real contractions yet, I decided to take a quick shower and get a few last minute things ready to go. We left for the hospital at about 2:30am and I still was not feeling any contractions whatsoever.

After a quick check-in, I was asked to change into a hospital gown and was seated in the triage room. The nurse checked me, asked me a few questions, and then started to enter some information into the computer. And then- after a sudden and alarming sound of a woman wailing in the distance- all the triage staff rushed to the room next to me where a woman gave birth to her baby as soon as she made it through the door! We heard the baby cry and it was then that I started to get nervous... and finally started to feel light contractions. Then came the IV. I've only had an IV inserted once or twice in my lifetime, but they never seem to get it right! Of course the nurse was not able to secure it on her first attempt and had to page for the head nurse and her "magic touch." I was starting to get fairly uncomfortable at that point and frustrated that we were having such an issue with the IV. Luckily the head nurse was able to secure the line and we were transfered to a labor room.

During the brief walk down the hall from triage to our labor room, my contractions started to really intensify! I had to stop a few times after walking just a few yards and curl over Eric to get through them. Eric then asked me if I wanted an epidural, to which I don't think I even replied. Once I made it onto the hospital bed, I just remember crouching to one side or the other in complete agony, crying over the pain- it became so intense so quickly. The pain and pressure was absolutely overwhelming, like nothing I had felt before. All the breathing and relaxation techniques went out the window and I was in sheer survival mode during each and every contraction.

One of the nurse midwives checked me at that point and told us that I was 4cm dilated. At this point, I finally gave in to Eric’s suggestion and I requested the epidural. Luckily it didn’t take long to page the anesthesiologist and I was officially on cloud nine at about 4:30am! I was really anxious about getting the epidural, but honestly, securing the IV line was ten times worse! It took effect in just a few minutes and it was great! I felt pressure during the contractions, but no pain. What a relief!


At about 7:00am, Eric called some of our family and friends to let them know that Natalie was on her way! A few hours later, Elaine, Joellen, Patrick & Britty came to visit. We chatted, watched the Food Network, and I laughed as I saw the monitors beside me going crazy, charting my big contractions.

I was checked once again at 10:00am and informed that I was making great “textbook” progress- I was 6cm dilated already. At 11:30am, I was checked one last time and we were at 9.5cm- just about ready to go! At this point, our company left so we could get ready to push. Plus, Elaine had to leave for her own ultrasound appointment to find out if she would be having a boy or a girl.

At Noon, the nurse team came in and observed me starting to push. I started to feel the contractions quite a bit more at this point. They weren’t too painful, but the pressure was very intense. I didn’t have to look over to the monitors anymore to know that a contraction was coming.

At about 1:45pm, nurse midwife Laura Warren came into our room, and 15 min later, her head was out! I remember screaming in pain when her head finally emerged- it was the most overwhelming sensation of pain and pressure that I had ever felt. No words can adequately describe the experience. But once her head was out, nurse midwife Warren noticed that the umbilical cord was wrapped around her neck and tangled around her body, which was completely frightening! I had to stop pushing for a few moments while she was untangled, and then before I knew it, she was completely out.


Baby was placed on my chest, and all I remember was feeling like I was in a haze- I was so overwhelmed by pain, but so astonished at the beautiful little girl looking up at me. She was just gorgeous. Perfect, healthy, and happy. While she was lightly cleaned off, she was quickly assessed and her Apgar scores were 8 and 9. Unfortunately the birth required some serious repair- I had sustained a nasty second degree tear. Three different doctors came in to stitch me back up while Eric snapped lots of pictures. Then we finally had our skin-on-skin time. She cuddled on my chest as Eric and I marveled over her. We noticed her little spots of dark hair, her tiny, perfect fingers, and her big eyes. She was so alert!




Elaine came back to the hospital after her ultrasound appointment and was the first person other than Mommy and Daddy to hold baby Natalie. Elaine then told us the ultrasound revealed she’s having a girl!! I was so incredibly happy for her. Elaine will be the perfect Mom to a little girl :) My Dad was our second visitor. He stopped by on a break from work to come hold our little bundle of joy.



A few hours later, the medications started to ware off, but my legs were still very numb. So I was wheeled to the restroom to clean up a little and then transfered to a recovery room. I was so swollen, I couldn’t even turn in bed to change Natalie’s diaper as she laid in her bassinet. Luckily Daddy had no reservations doing it!

That night, JoEllen and Patrick came to visit and brought us Jack-in-the-Box (the hospital food was just awful). After they left, we settled in and tried to sleep a little... baby Natalie would nap for a little bit here and there in-between nursing sessions. For the most part, she nestled on my chest, skin-to-skin.



The next morning, Natalie had her newborn hearing test and a round of blood work completed. Unfortunately she had a mild case of jaundice, but the nurses informed us that her levels were low and that it should resolve on its own. That day, we had our “Celebration Lunch”- a special meal that Kaiser prepares for the new parents. It was still hospital fare, so the meal wasn’t much to write home about. But it was a nice gesture.

That night, our friends Lisa & Peter came to visit with us. We were so exhausted, but we never grew tired of all the comments everyone had to say about our little beauty- Perfect! Beautiful! Lovely!



We stayed overnight once again, as I was still extremely swollen and feeling pretty lousy. But the next morning, I was feeling much better- and ready to go home! Baby Natalie had one last round of blood work done and luckily her jaundice levels had subsided some.

We then packed up our things and dressed Natalie in her little going-home outfit. We picked out a bright blue and purple floral onesie with ruffles on the bum along with a matching headband. It was newborn size, but she was swimming in it! She was so tiny! Eric secured her into the car seat before we were officially cleared and discharged.




Hello world! I’m ready to go!! I cried on the way home as I sat beside her in the backseat. What a beautiful blessing. We’re now a little family, just the three of us, I thought to myself. We could not ask for more. We thank God for her each and every day.

Introducing Natalie Jean Stessel

November 16, 2010

1:59pm

7 pounds, 1 ounce

20 inches

She's here!!! We are overjoyed to announce that our beautiful baby girl was welcomed into this world on November 16th. She's even more perfect and beautiful than we had imagined. We are so blessed that Natalie chose us to be her parents and are very much looking forward to seeing the world anew through the eyes of our little girl...

Overdue and Crashed Into!

Incompetent drivers- especially those highly “advanced” in age- need to get off the road!! On my way to the fabric store yesterday to pick up some thread to finish up our living room curtains, a really old lady smashed right into my car... I had just talked to Elaine and she had told me to be careful driving around! So I was driving along 680 Northbound near the Treat exit when an old lady in a gold Toyota Avalon plowed right into my passenger side while trying to change lanes! She didn’t even look to see if the lane was clear- she just made her way on over! Worst of all, she didn’t even realize that she hit me. I had to drive ahead, pull along side her, and then honk and wave her down!

Fortunately baby and I are fine. But after talking to Elaine and Eric, I decided to call labor and delivery just as a precaution. They suggested I come right in to be evaluated, even though I felt fine, just a little frazzled over my poor car :(. After I was checked in, a nurse hooked me up to a couple monitors and I sat in the triage room for a few hours. After the doctor finally evaluated me, she recommended that I stay for 24 hours and continue being monitored. So I was moved to an observation room for the night.

Thus began our long, uneventful stay at labor and delivery. Eric stayed with me in the observation room on a fold-out bed which was horribly uncomfortable. And the hospital food was absolutely terrible. And we got little to no sleep, as we listened to the screams of laboring women coming from down the hall... needless to say, I was happy to be discharged and relieved that baby and I were both well. On a positive note, at least the whole hospital experience was like a mini test run for the big day!

39 Weeks

Well, I'm horribly uncomfortable now!! I feel absolutley huge! Aside from unpacking and more unpacking, we've been busy trying to get things in order before baby finally decides to get here... Eric put together the crib, I put together the dresser, and her co-sleeper is all set up in our room. I feel so rushed having just moved and now having to make sure that the house is in order for baby! But I'm glad that the move is out of the way. It was a pain to do this so late in the pregnancy, but I can't imagine doing this later on once she's here- and our stress level has already decreased significantly now that we've secured a renter for the house, our expenses have been reduced, we're closer to work and family, and of course we're back in Walnut Creek! I've really missed this fantastic community and I'm so glad that we're back and that we'll be raising Natalie here (at least for now). There are so many things left to do, and I really hate leaving so many projects undone, like patching and painting walls and decorating. But that will just have to wait.

We're obviously beyond excited- I didn't think we'd still be waiting at this point, but Natalie seems to be quite happy baking away in there! I'm sure she'll pick the perfect day for her birthday :).

38 Weeks, Moving Day & My Birthday!

Well, no October baby! I was really hopeful that she’d arrive during my favorite month of the year, but alas, she obviously has other plans!

I’ve spent most of this week trying to prepare the condo for us. Although it’s recently remodeled just like our old one on Player Court, the place needed some serious cleaning! Neither Eric nor I were convinced that a professional cleaning team actually came in to prep the place- as Susan the landlady had claimed. But, rather than argue, we took it upon ourselves to have the carpets professionally cleaned and I spent nearly all day Thursday and Friday scrubbing, patching and disinfecting. The porcelin stovetop was the worst, with it’s caked-on filth from the last two tenants. Both the bathroom and kitchen sinks were covered in rust and film. And then the walls needed patching in about fifty different spots! It was disheartening for both of us to see the place in such poor shape, considering how spotless I kept our old condo!

I had a doctor’s appointment on Friday, the 29th. It was scheduled with one of the nurse practitioners that I’ve seen before (and really liked) but she wasn’t nearly as friendly as I remembered this time around. Either that, or they were very busy and her lack of enthusiasm was shining through. Nonetheless, baby’s heartbeat was 150 according to the doppler and a quick ultrasound verified that she is in deed positioned head-down. The nurse practitioner also measured my fundal height, but she didn’t tell me what it was and I must have forgotten to ask during our brief conversation. Then I had the option to have a pelvic exam performed, which I declined, since I haven’t really had any sure signs that labor may be starting soon. The exam would probably only tell me that my cervix isn’t dialated yet and baby’s head is stationed high.

So, as of today, we’re all moved in to the new condo. The move went well- we had Eric’s parents, Elaine, my dad, and Lisa and Peter out to help us out. Eric picked up the U-Haul early that morning and then the loading began. I felt rather useless since I can’t really do much these days. Plus, there were still a few things around the house that hadn’t been packed yet- like the pantry, some of our kitchen supplies, and a few things from our closets. Luckily Elaine was willing to help, as I was really overwhelmed- I had spent most of Friday afternoon waiting on a locksmith as opposed to finishing the packing! (I locked myself out of the condo, just like I did at the old Player Court place)! Below you'll see me lounging in our new rocking chair as everyone else moved stuff and then there's Elaine and I posing for my dad- I'm just about full term and she's about 4 months along. It is so awesome that we get to be pregnant together!



While everyone traveled over to the condo, Elaine and I went to pick up lunch and bring it back for everyone. Elaine and I didn’t really help much with the unloading either, but I started to get more and more anxious as boxes started to fill up every room in the place... I didn’t think we accumulated so many more things since our last move, but obviously we had!

Eric had planned for everyone to head over to the downtown Creamery after the unloading to celebrate my birthday, but instead, everyone decided to go home for a little while and then meet back up later that evening for dinner. So, while JoEllen and Patrick stayed behind at the condo and insisted on unpacking our kitchen and assembling our bed (which we really appreciated), Elaine, Eric and myself headed out to Brentwood one last time to return the truck, round up a few forgotten items and pick up the kids.

Finally at about 7pm, after a crappy experience at the Cheesecake Factory (we decided not to wait for 2.5 hours for a table), all eight of us plus Sally, Stephen and Jenny met up at the Creamery for appetizers and ice-cream. I was frustrated for various reasons, but in the end, my birthday outing turned out really nice. The ice-cream was delicious and we had fun watching a party of young boys at the table right next to us order and devour the “kitchen sink.” Then I opened a few gifts- money, gift cards to Bed, Bath & Beyond and Target, a really nice diaper bag that Elaine picked out for me, and a beautiful Swarovski necklace from Eric. All in all, it was a nice birthday evening, despite being such a hectic day!



That night, as we chatted with Lisa and Peter on the way back to our cars, I felt what I think could have been a light contraction. My stomach was suddenly super tight all over. It wasn’t painful, just uncomfortable. And since, they’ve continued here and there.

Eric went golfing with Lisa and Peter on Sunday while I stayed home to rest and unpack. I ended up falling asleep for a few hours, then decided to finish unpacking the kitchen. I’m trying to tackle the condo one room at a time so I don’t get too overwhelmed... but it’s been hard. Plus, I’m trying not to stress about the house that still needs cleaning. And hoping that everything goes smoothly for our tenant, whose scheduled to move in on the 15th. But on the positive side, we actually had four trick-or-treaters come to our door! We never had a single one back at the Player Court condo!

One thing at a time. I’m happy at the moment that we’re settling back into a simpler life. I’m hoping to set the best example I can for our daughter- that family, time, and love are the most important things in this life- that every decision made should have these in mind and hold them to the highest regard. We don’t need a big house. And we don’t need a lot of things. We only need faith and one another. The Lord has really carried us this last year, with everything we’ve had to figure out. I know we’ve made the best decision for us and I’m so thankful that I’ve been led to this place- both literally and figuratively. I love Walnut Creek and I’m excited to raise Natalie here. But more importantly, I’m grateful for this new outlook on life. I hope this experience solidifies my priorities for the rest of my life.