21-22 Weeks

I finally got my semi-annual haircut on Saturday! There’s this salon that I just love in downtown Pleasanton called Fusion3. I’ve been getting my hair cut here since I was in high school. Plus, they even styled my hair for our wedding! But I really only manage to get in for an appointment about twice a year and it’s not terribly cheap... but I really needed it. My hair has been shedding so much lately! I’m honestly surprised I have any left! I know it’s normal to shed after pregnancy, but goodness- I could have made a really nice wig for Natalie by now. It’s just crazy! So I knew going in that I needed to take some serious inches off (they chopped six whole inches). Since Eric was working over the weekend, I left Natalie with grandma JoEllen at her house in Dublin while I was at the salon. I was only gone for maybe an hour and a half while they went for a little walk. But from Grandma's report, apparently she did great and hardly fussed, so that was nice to hear.

I’d been thinking a lot lately about investing in a second stroller and finally gave in and bought one last week. Since we keep Natalie’s stroller in the back of our Murano, it makes for a difficult day if Eric takes that car in the morning and leaves me without a stroller if we need to go somewhere. So, to solve that problem, I found another Bumbleride to stash in the other car so one of us always has one on hand. And it was on clearance since it was last year’s model- sounds like a fancy car, but these strollers are just great! I really am happy with them. They’re compact, they’re compatible with most infant car seats, and most importatly- they’re not hideous looking, like most bulky, plastic-y, teddy-bear clad baby strollers. So, this is our new Bumbleride Indie 3-wheel stroller. It has air-filled tires so it’s more comfortable for long walks and we can even take it jogging. I took Natalie out on Sunday for her first stroll in it- I think she likes it.



And spring is finally in the air! We saw this cute little family of geese at the park when we walked around the pond at Heather Farms.


Natalie and I went to visit Elaine and Stacie on Monday. Since Andrew was tied at the office for most of the day, we kept the new mommy and baby company for a few hours. We just hung out in the living room and chatted for the most part, over feedings and diaper changes. Stacie is still so sleepy! Elaine says she's been this way the whole time- what a difference from Natalie, who was so awake and alert from day one! But the good news is that Stacie's starting to get the hang of nursing (as long as she doesn't fall asleep at the boob)! And Elaine seems to be doing great- she's a natural mommy. Here's a cute picture of Stacie that I took, with her hands near her face as always.


We managed to get the first picture of the cousins together. So cute! I'm sure they'll be the best of friends. I'm planning Natalie's 6-month portrait session for early June and I invited Elaine and Stacie along so we can get some good poses of the babies together and maybe even some of all of us too. Hopefully by that time, Stacie will be more awake!!


Wednesday was not an easy day for me. I thought I was doing alright with the transition back to work, but my work week didn't start well at all. I started crying in the morning before I left for work. Natalie was fast asleep by the time I had to leave... every time I have to leave her, I whisper how sorry I am to her. I really want to be at home with her. It's not that I don't think Eric takes good care of her while I'm away. He really does a good job. It's more that I know she needs me. And I have this fear that she's going to forget who I am.

And then later that night after we got home, the day got progressively worse- we made a trip out to Dublin to buy a jumper (or “jumpie” as we’ve been calling it) for Natalie at the baby store since we've been wanting to buy one for her and we had a coupon that was about to expire. I was really tired from the day (Natalie still wakes at night at least two or three times), but we decided to go anyway. And then, not only did Eric forget to grab the diaper bag, but when we stopped by Grandma's house, the stupid dog jumped up on us and scratched Natalie's hand. I've always been weary of that dog and I knew it was bound to happen. Luckily it wasn't a bad scratch, but it just reinforced the fact that I'm not always around her to protect her. Plus, it makes me worry about the days that JoEllen has her- I don't want that dog hurting my kid.

I really hope this gets easier, or that I start to get used to it I guess. But the more I think about it, the more angry I've been getting. I shouldn't have to "get used" to this part-time mommy, part-time employee predicament. Work will always be there- my baby won't. I should be able to stay at home with her. But I know Eric doesn't exactly feel the same, which only adds to my frustration. He reminds me that I only work part-time and ironically, I am the breadwinner, so-to-speak. He reminds me that he works full-time and his salary does not and will not cover all of our expenses. He reminds me that he wants his time with Natalie too. I guess I can't argue against his points. They are valid. But I'm still mad about it.

Anyway, rant over. Back to the newest baby item... Eric put together Natalie’s new jumpie when he was at home on Thursday. It lights up, plays music, and most importantly- bounces! Unfortunately, little Natalie’s feet don’t quite touch the ground yet, so she can’t exactly jump on her own just yet, but she obviously loves the thing already! Success.